What is this blinking line in front of me? Oh wait...it's the cursor on my computer screen. Well, hello blogosphere. It's been a while. How have you been? I am a little rusty and may need to do some dusting off of sorts, but I figured I could venture out of this hibernation for a night, so here goes.
What a busy summer and early start to the Fall this has been. So much has happened and changed since I last wrote. But this is not the time for me to give you a play-by-play of my life in the past 4 months; we can watch college football for play-by-play commentary.
The sun is setting on another day. A day where many have stopped to reflect, pray, cry, hug someone, or extend a helping hand in honor of those lost on 9-11 and the aftermath it brought. This day fills our computer screens and our minds with images and memories of that terrifying time. I was a senior in high school.
The sun is setting on another day. A day where I found myself stooped within a to-do list that just won't go away. A day that began before the sun made its appearance. I watched it awake as I took my morning walk. It's so different taking a walk in my current neighborhood - surrounded by cows and horses (and the smell of manure...); large green yards and winding hilly roads - than on the quaint city streets off Camp Bowie in Fort Worth. I've been thinking a lot about my life over these previous two years. The changes that have taken place. The endings and the beginnings. It's been almost two years since Jeff & I left our lives in Texas to resettle in Kentucky. I think the start of college football season tends to make me look back...those silly Horned Frogs. If you had asked me in 2006 what a Horned Frog was, I would have looked at you as if you were one. And now I catch myself wondering if TCU is winning the game and who they're playing next. I even admit to wearing purple on game days. But I'll really scare myself if I start to trade the UK blue for TCU purple. Ha - when wildcats fly...
Last week I got the exciting opportunity to go to Seattle to visit Mary. My "bff" since the first grade. Despite the cloudy, rainy weather (I missed the sunshine by mere days), it was one of those visits that fills your soul and reminds you of just how good good friends are. We sipped lattes topped with foamy designs that looked as though an artist had swirled a paintbrush in our mug just before our first sip. We took hikes that brought us to green mountaintops and splashing waterfalls. And we ate a lot of delicious doughnuts...well, I ate a lot of delicious doughnuts. More on that in a bit...
But more than the simple act of getting away and eating amazing food, it was a visit of presence. Mary and I don't always have to be doing something to have fun; we can just simply be. It's like being around my family, only on the other side of the country. The kind of visit that brings the scent of childhood to your current reality and causes you to stop and remember. To stop and say thank you.
And the other small little minute detail that has been filling my thoughts and changing my dietary habits...Turns out that my sister is not the only Ross girl who's going to have a baby. I get to be an aunt in October - a few short weeks!! And, trusting all goes well, I get to try my own hand at motherhood come February. Even when I type these words it almost doesn't seem real. I have so many wonders, and fears, and wonders, and fears. I don't know who will have the greatest shock - Jeff & me or our four-legged furry children! Needless to say, this explains the added indulgence of the Seattle doughnuts. But, hey, we totally walked them off!
Aunt...Mom...I have so many reasons to whisper and to shout the words "thank you."
Security...safety...a life full of supportive friends, a nurturing family, an incredible church community...so many reasons to whisper and to shout the words "thank you."
Memories...struggles...change. I've never been the best at change. But how wonderful it is to look back and be thankful for the opportunities I've had and the people who've impacted me along the way.
Now, I sit here with my two pups while Jeff is off jamming away on his second career as an electric guitarist. I think about this collage of thoughts - thoughts of the past & thoughts of the future - all rustling around in me and spilling out of me like the current on the edge of a waterfall. This collage of thoughts with hints of doughnut sweetness and gray-cloud fears. I think about the reality in which I am living as it sits within a world community that, at this time in history, is full of too much sorrow, and too much violence, and far too much death. My thoughts bounce among prayers of gratitude, prayers for help, and prayers for others across the globe.
The sun has set on another day. And I wonder what to make of it all.