"Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depths of our hearts." Mother Teresa
Six weeks ago was Ash Wednesday. The ashes are no longer buried under my fingernails. Haven't been there in a while. Gone are the days when Lent crawled by. This year it sprinted. It ran like something was chasing it...(maybe Donald Trump was after Lent, too).
I'm not sure if I've changed much since the Wednesday of six weeks ago. Have you? My mind races today, too. Scattered and jumbled like the pieces of a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. Like those annoying puzzles where the majority of pieces are slightly different shades of ocean blue; it seems near impossible to ever find two that fit together, let alone 683.
What has this season done for me? For us? For our churches? For our communities? For our world? Do we even really know....or care.....or really, and I mean, really pay attention? It's fun and easy to see the tiny purple flowers budding on the trees. Makes us feel happy and gitty as we put on shorts and sunglasses and kick Winter in the butt. But are we really paying attention to what it all means for us? Or....could mean for us?
We ask a lot of God. I know I do anyway. And then my mind goes all turbo speed while God just might be talking back. Things-to-do....things I want-to-do....things I need-to-do....things I think-I-need-to-do.....blah blah blah....
Meanwhile, God, you sit here patiently. Waiting, listening, sighing deeply, waiting for me to turn and look at you. To stop and breathe you in. For real.
I'm not asking anything of you. (I'm not saying it's not tempting to just ask because that's what I do most of the time anyway). It's easier to ask - keeps me in charge of what I want and what I think I need.
So I'm not asking anything of you today, God. I'm just trying to put my heart in your hands.
I'm just trying.... to shut up.....and put my heart in your hands.